So, you’re in love, huh? Are you daydreaming about that big day? Will you have it done at the church or on the beach with beautiful some wooden flowers in your hand? Are you already making a mental list of whom you’ll invite? Stop right there (sorry to interrupt your fantasy but this had to be said). Love aside, there are some logical steps you need to take or look into before saying ‘I do’. Here are our top 4 things to look into before taking that big step.
Some couples might have done this during the dating stage while others simply never get there. The number 1 thing to do before getting married is to discuss finances. You need to decide and not just assume who’ll cover what responsibilities. Will you have a joint account or keep it separate? Are you even comfortable with letting your partner know exactly how much you are bringing in? Yes, these can be the hard questions, but it must be done if you are hoping to have a transparent and joyful marriage.
You also need to discuss children – People think that naturally couples want to have children. That’s not always the case. Some are sure that they don’t want any kids. You don’t want to end up in a marriage thinking you and your partner will have 2 or 3 children when he or she really doesn’t want any or maybe not so soon or later as you imagined. Talk about the number of kids you want, when you might want to have them, expenses, housing and some pertinent decisions that you’ll need to decide together.
Live together before actually living together – Experiencing each other as you would in marriage as it relates to housing might be beneficial to both of you. Live together a bit to learn more about the unsaid or unknown. Can you cope with each other’s habits or will it drive you crazy? What adjustments or compromise are you willing to make? Do one of you snore? Fart in your sleep? Lol yes, all those details come with living together. Might as well have a test run before you live together permanently.
Meet each other’s people – Have your partner met your family and friends yet? If they haven’t, maybe you’d want to set up a date so that they can. Meeting your partner’s closest persons is pertinent. It might strengthen your relationship or break it (we hope it’s not the latter).
We know some of what we mentioned above might be intimidating or make you anxious. Don’t worry about it too much. Be honest and communicate if there’s an issue. Remember that love comes first and should be in the midst of anything you do. It might require you to take a few necessary, hard steps because of the reality of what comes after the big day. Once you’ll get through these though, life after your wedding will be so much better.